If you work for an oilfield services company you might have noticed a trend lately. More and more services companies are waking up to the power of digital marketing to drive sales into their business.
Since we’re seeing an increase in industry activity online, I thought it would be fun to put together a helpful list of things you can do to fail miserably. Because who isn’t looking to get fired, am I right?
Without further ado, I give you…
Oilfield Services Company: 33 Ways to Fail Miserably
Ignore digital marketing in the oilfield services industry. It’s just a fad.
Believe if you start sharing valuable, helpful, and relevant insights on your website your competition will steal your “secret sauce”. Because no one has ever done what you do in oil and gas before. Ever.
Convince yourself no one searches for oil and gas products or services online – especially not yours. No one uses that Google thing anyways.
Hire an overpriced developer to custom-code your website instead of using WordPress. Who wants to update one paragraph on their website for free when they can get a line-item invoice?
Make your website really hard to navigate and find information about what you sell. If people want to hire you, they need to work for it.
Always speak in extraordinarily vague language that uses non-stop industry jargon and buzzwords. If people can’t see why they should leverage your decades of value-added industry expertise to optimize oilfield operations and streamline synergy across their enterprise, they don’t deserve to pay your invoice.
Make all of your sales copy about you, instead of what problems you solve for prospects. Prospects don’t want to solve problems, they want to count the ways they love you.
Only use super lame stock photos of the same guy in front of an oil rig. No one has used that one yet.
Make every blog post about you and your awesome company. These people don’t need a reason to return to your website. Write another post about your new business partnerships. Those go viral all the time.
Refuse to allow comments on your blog posts. People think blogs are for conversations. They are wrong. And stupid.
Don’t make what you sell or why people should work with you clear anywhere on your website. Do they think you built a website to generate leads?
Write 5,000-word sales pages that say waaaaay too much about what your business does. If prospects aren’t bored to tears within 30 seconds of visiting your website, you have failed.
Write 50-word sales pages that say nothing about what your business does. If prospects want to know what you do, they can pick up the damn phone and talk to your sales team.
Never learn Search Engine Optimization (SEO) or use WordPress SEO by Yoast. Ranking first when prospects Google your products and services is sooooo overrated.
Use sliders on your homepage. If you don’t know where visitors should go on your site, let them figure it out for themselves.
Place social media buttons at the top of your website and invite people to leave the moment they arrive. Once they have 67 tabs of baby pictures and bacon memes open they’ll remember exactly why they visited your site.
Never use videos anywhere on your site. They are far too helpful.
Host your videos on YouTube instead of Wistia. You don’t need to convert people who watch to the end into leads. That’s just silly.
Don’t use calls to action (CTAs, a.k.a. “Contact Us” and “Work With Us” buttons) next to the sales copy on your website. Make them click scroll and click around to figure out how to contact your company. People love that.
Only place CTAs in headers and sidebars. Using Google and Facebook hasn’t trained anyone to ignore those places.
Ask for too much information on your landing pages. If you don’t get their blood type how can you sell them?
Sell to the wrong level of the organization everywhere on your website. Sure, the CEO is usually the guy making the decision, but if Doris in accounting isn’t on board, you’re screwed.
Avoid customer endorsements at all costs. Prospects don’t want to know if you have satisfied customers.
Tell yourself, “No one in oil and gas is on Facebook” and don’t set up a company page. You don’t want to communicate with prospects when they are on their smartphones in the bathroom. It’s just weird.
Start doing social media without a strategy or end goal in mind. Just push out posts at erratic time intervals that have nothing to do with your business and then complain about how social media doesn’t work. It’s easier that way.
Make every status/tweet/update on social media about you and your awesome company. You’re a $100M company with 37 Likes, so it seems to be working.
Build your social media strategy around impressions and reach. You don’t need to generate revenue. Just tell your boss how many people saw the status about his speech at the trade show.
Don’t create a budget for search engine and social media ads. Why waste money getting in front of your exact target?
Don’t reply to comments on your Facebook page – especially negative ones. People don’t communicate with your company to get a response. They want to be ignored – especially when they are upset.
Don’t use email opt-in forms in your blog sidebar. That’s way too predictable. It’s almost like people expect it or something.
Don’t use email opt-in forms at the bottom of each blog post. If someone reads all the way to the bottom of your articles, there’s no way they would want them sent to their email inbox.
Hate pop-ups and refuse to use them on your website. Of course, over 80% Social Media Examiner’s 550,000 email subscribers came from a pop-up. They got lucky.
- Keep doing business exactly the way you’ve done it for decades.
Surely, You Can’t Be Serious
No, I’m not. And don’t call me Shirley.
This article was a fun exercise in sarcasm, but please don’t take these recommendations. Or, better yet, pull a George Costanza and do the opposite.
Because if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
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